How to Choose a movie for your Child?

You want to rest for a while, so you seat your child in front of the TV. Your friends have come over to your house, and you put a film or animation for your child. You feel guilty putting your child in front of the TV, although you are relieved to have a moment to relax. You try to choose something worthwhile for your child to watch; for example a fairy tale. But specialists always put pressure on parents to give your child a book in replacement of a film or animation. They suggest that you read a book together with your child. That is great, although they probably do not have children, or have someone to run the house and also earn money on top of this responsibility.

In today’s article, I would like to present to you the ‘Golden Mean’.

I will give you 5 key features of a good children’s fairy tale; whether it’s a movie or a book. The films or animations selected according to these principles will help you to ensure a harmonious and non disruptive family life. I would also like to hear from you about your experiences and thoughts. Please write them in the comments below.

Children are generally harmed by the excess of stimuli, the excessive amount of data absorbed by their young and still sensitive nervous system. Nowadays, the “stimuli” from television is enormous. In 2017, Cartoon Network commissioned research in Poland and Germany. It turned out that 63% of Polish children aged 6–12 regularly watch TV, and for 40% it is the most important medium of entertainment. On average from Monday to Friday children watch TV for 1 hour and 23 minutes a day, and for 1 hour and 43 minutes on the Weekends. Additionally the time which they play with their smartphones or game consoles is not included in the averages just mentioned. Up until the age of 18, the average child will see 8,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence.

There are countless recommendations that a child under the age of 2 years old should not watch TV at all. If we did not turn on the TV, smartphone or game console at all, it would be an unattractive piece of equipment for a child. Without the blaring colorful lights and sounds coming from the TV — your child would find it as interesting as a bookcase, bed or a wardrobe… In other words not at all interesting. However, if you do not turn on the TV it will be an inconvenience that yourself as well would not have the opportunity to relax in front of it. Children learn primarily through observation and imitation, so according to the research, each hour of adults relaxing in front of their favorite film resulted in an extension of the child’s time spent in front of the TV by 30 minutes. While teenagers watched TV for an additional hour longer than their parents.

Maybe you have noticed that these statistics are not consistent with averages I just presented. This is because in homes where there is no TV at all, movies and television series are watched on a computer. It is important that you also regulate how long and which programs you should let your child watch on their computers as well.

Here are 5 rules for a good story-line to consider when looking for meaningful content for your children.

The first point to consider when choosing a good story: It must grab the child’s attention.

Have you ever attempted to watch a very valuable although very boring black and white film with an unrelatable hero? Your child dislikes boring content even more than you do. As we are currently in the decade of loud gadgets, colorful toys and a world full of stimuli, unfortunately even valuable items have to fight for the attention of your child. As our children have been raised from an early age in a world constantly bombarding us with various information, and they don’t know how to manage these factors like we do. In order to interest your child, it will take more attempts opposed to children their age a decade or two ago. Most likely yourself or your friends have experienced impatience more than once when a child — gifted with a fancy toy — preferred to play in the cardboard box after opening the gift. This is because the cardboard box is such a great hiding place, it is also a great object to throw things at! The basic component of a good story, whether we are talking about a children’s story in the form of either a movie or a book, is a story which the child can identify with. Which speaks to their experiences and makes them feel positive. Maybe the hero is a child their age? Maybe the fairy-tale creature is afraid of the dark just like them? Maybe the character is disappointed because their dad doesn’t have time to play with them? Maybe the adventures presented in the story take place in Africa, which your son or daughter has recently become very interested in? A good story draws the child’s attention in a wise and developmental way, referring to their emotions, experiences or interests.

The second point to consider: it is important to develop your child’s curiosity about the world.

There was a cartoon called “Once upon a time… Life.” It was produced by a French production company and it provided an interesting and colorful way which revealed secrets of the human body to children. This is a good example in creating curiosity in children.

From an early age, children ask many questions. Why does the dog have four legs? Where does a runny nose come from? Why do people have different color skin tones? What does a lawyer do? The amazing receptivity of a child’s mind and a natural willingness to learn are exactly what good stories should support. It is very important not to serve everything on a plate to your child. I remember reading books about the young detective, Nancy Drew, as an early teenager. The book was full of descriptions of friends working together and solving crimes, exploring different locations, and helping people for the greater good. What I learned from the stories encouraged my appetite for knowledge. From reading the novels, the next step was to look at other books and absorb the information about different communities of people, phenomena or geographic lands.

It doesn’t matter if you choose a movie or a book for your child. Remember that the story should be thought-provoking and then become a topic for further home discussions and internet exploration. These days, Uncle Google responds to most inquiries much faster than the old and dirty encyclopedia. At the same time, it is a good contribution teaching your child to think critically. Show that not everything that they find on the Internet or what they learn from their peers is necessarily valuable information. Your child may start to be interested in areas which are unfamiliar to you. You may be a Psychologist, accountant or salesman, and the topics which your son or daughter are asking about- for example it may be about quantum physics and space exploration, don’t worry. Discovering new knowledge together can be a fantastic family adventure.

The third point to consider: Teach the child to be self-reliant and independent.

Choose stories carefully based on the heroes which appear in them, as these characters will be their models for future behavior. The behavior and actions of a character which is attractive to a child, such as a detective, superhero or a successful athlete, will be remembered for a long time. When choosing stories, first check if the main character represents the attitudes and values ​​you wish to show your child. It would be beneficial if the story relates to everyday situations. Do the characters need to make difficult decisions? Do they need to take responsibility for their younger siblings? Maybe the story includes disobedience which ends with a lesson for the main character and gives them a better and deeper understanding of the situation? Or maybe it is simply a story about how a boy or a girl has managed to prepare their first breakfast on their own? Here you have to balance between the character’s attractiveness and the realism of the situation. The more unrealistic the story is without reference to actual events, it is unlikely your child will learn how to respond adequately. After all, in everyday life, we cannot allow ourselves to eliminate people who irritate us. People are not superheroes and do not fly in the air like Superman, they do not swing on a spider rope like Spider-man, and they do not have nine lives like a cat. An example of a well-constructed hero is Harry Potter. Of course, witchcraft and magic makes his life easier, but he overcomes most of his difficulties through stubbornness, sticking to his principles and nurturing friendship.

The fourth point to consider: Help your child to organize their feelings.

A very important educational element of animation or film is referring to emotions, showing that each of us have emotions which accompany us in our daily lives. And although all emotions are different they are all necessary. A great animation work from recent years deals with emotions for slightly older children; it is called “In the head, out of the way”. The presenter introduces the viewer to the existence of basic emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, fear and disgust in an attractive and light way, it shows what each emotion is in an interesting and fictional way. Using the story of little Riley, who moves with her parents from Minnesota to San Francisco, the film shows that every emotion is necessary and that one cannot get rid of or forget their own emotions. Especially if you want to build successful relationships with people and maintain mental balance. Repressing, rejecting, not expressing or avoiding emotions only causes a person to become unhappy and get themselves into undesirable situations. An appropriate and clear structure of the story also plays a role in this type of representation. The final result should not be unambiguous, especially in the case of representations for younger children — for example; the guilty are punished, good beats evil — this is because young children do not yet have the ability to think abstractly. A plot that is too intricate can cause confusion for them.

The fifth and last point to consider: the film or animation should prompt solutions to difficult situations for the child.

As the psychoanalyst Bruno Bettelheim, the author of the iconic work “The uses of Enchantment” wrote, if a story is to enrich a young person’s life, it must stimulate the imagination and help the child develop intelligence and organize feelings. It must be related to their fears and aspirations and enable them to fully understand their own difficulties, and at the same time provides ways of solving problems which plague them. The starting point, for example difficulties and challenges, must be possible and understood by the child. If the character and their adventures are properly portrayed, the fairy tale will help the child to understand concepts which are difficult for them to imagine.

A valuable story is one which teaches a child new behaviors and skills, and at the same time supports them in developing their interests, fulfilling their needs and expressing themselves. The best films and animations for children are made to be appropriate of all ages.

Try not to abandon your child in front of the computer screen or TV screen, therefore leaving them in the hands of scriptwriters and producers. It is important to make watching fairy tales a nice family ritual. Watch them together, talk about them. You will see that it will significantly accelerate your child’s development.

Wishing you lots of parental love and close relationships with your loved ones, I thank you for your attention and invite you to discover Practical Parenthood!